Archive | November, 2012

Choose your weapon wisely

26 Nov

My Top 10 list of Weapons from comic books

10. Daredevils staff: The most awesome part of this weapon its a Cane for the blind that also turns into nun chucks,staff, baton and is  equipped with tons of cable to help the hero swing around New York.  And your impressed by Stevie Wonder Hmmpph!

9. Batarang:  Its a boomerang shaped like a bat what more can I say? batslap the shit out of someone from long range.  Reminds me of my mom when I was a kid before I can finish whatever stupid thing was coming out my mouth I got a slipper POW right on the kisser from like 25 ft away quite impressive.

8. Sai’s: I love this weapon handled both by the ever so sexy yet dangerous assassin Elektra and of course my favorite Ninja turtle Raphael he’s cool, rude and knows how to bust some ass with Sai’s.

 

7. Freeze gun: Mr. Freeze freeze gun has alway’s been a favorite villain weapon of mine.  I grew up loving Iceman and well Victor Fries figured out away to do it without powers.  He’s a total hit with the kids “icecream get your icescream”.

 

6. Witchblade: Not only can this ancient gauntlet give you increased physical abilities.  It can create weapons, and body armor, heal the wounded, raise the dead ect.  Its pretty freaking bad ass only problem is if you have a penis you cant use it as it only works for the ladies.

5. Captain Americas shield: Easily the most recognizable weapon in all of the comics is  Steve Rogers shield.  Its virtually indestructible and able to absorb most all energy attacks.  It is great for both defense and on the offensive.  And makes for some great backyard decor during a 4th of July BBQ, just picture serving up some burgers and ribs on that platter.

4. Adamantium claws: Wolverines claws are sick who doesn’t want a pair of those at all times, they are indestructible can tear through just about anything or one who stands in your way.  You’d be a tough guy too if you could heal from all your ass beatings and havethese six sharp friends up your sleeves.  Someone tries skipping you when a new cashier opens up in the supermarket (claws out) “I’m next bub” bet you wont get any arguments there.

3. Ironmans armour:  Tony Stark has all the best toys I love Batman to death but if I could I would alway’s have an Iron suit of armor.  I mean out of all the man made weapons I admire this the most cause it totally turns you into the weapon.  Thank you Stark enterprises now if only we could figure out that bathroom situation and it would be ranked higher.

2. mjolnir: Aka Thors Hammer what more can I say about this sexy tool of destruction.  If your worthy enough to yield its power you take it no questions asked, I mean its from the Gods for petes sake.  So what if you talk all funny like a bad Shakespeare play you can crush anyone who so much as dares to chuckle at ye.

1. Power ring: I rank Green lanterns ring as my number one due to the fact it is pretty much the most powerful weapon I’d want to use.  So much fun could be had with my wacky imagination and yes its only as good as the person wearing it but if someone amazing like Bruce Wayne got a hold of a GL ring imagine what that would be.  Oh my I always wished Hal or one of them other Lanterns said “hey Bats you deserve this more then me your so much better with no powers now lets see what you can do with it”.

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