Archive | May, 2014

Half a best man

27 May

A few years ago I was bestowed with the greatest honor a friend could receive.  I was asked to be a bestman to my childhood and best friend Scumbo’s wedding.  His real name is’nt “Scumbo” but ever since his dad called him one while kicking us out of his house it stuck.  I think the correct quote was “Get out you fucking scumball!” somehow we turned it into Scumbo and that nickname stuck.  Scumbo and I have been best buds since the 6th grade so when he asked me to be bestman I jumped at chance. I always wanted to be a best man for two reasons 1. Bachelor Party 2. Drunk wedding speech.

I planned for months the most epic bachelor party weekend I could think of.  I enlisted the help of Scumbos cousins and also my close friends Mitch and Derek, as well as one of our old buddies Hector.  Together we embarked on a crazy fun time.  In order to protect the oath we took of never talking about the bachelor party unless among attendees of party I wont get into any details.  To this day of all the bachelor parties I’ve gone to this was my favorite.  I can’t speak for all the guys but man was that one of the best two days of my life, it was all laughs and good times among friends.

Those fun memories will live with me forever.  Sadly the next day it was all undone by my Uncle passing away.  He had diabetes and a failed liver, upon receiving a transplant his body rejected it.  Crazy thing was my Uncle was from Dominican Republic but came to New York to get transplant.  So he did not die in his home land, to make matters worse my mom (his sister) was on vacation along with my father.  Leaving only me and his daughter to plan and prepare until others got back.

He was my closest uncle even though I only saw Tio Biembo once a year on vacations, he was the best.  We mostly bonded watching baseball, Tio was a hardcore Boston Redsox fan.   As a Met fan myself we shared over our hatred of the Yankees.  To this day every time Yankees play the Redsox I think of him and root for Boston.  

The last time I saw him I promised to come see him before leaving for DR and watch a game with him.  The doctors told me outlook wasn’t good. Despite enjoying bachelor party he was in the back of my mind. Unfortunately he never made our game date, I regret not going to see him on his deathbed.  I thought he could make it past the bachelor party festivities.

The day after he passed I was supposed to travel to Dominican Republic for Scumbo and his now beautiful wife Mary’s wedding.  Do to the circumstances I made one of the hardest choices in my life and cancelled my trip to plan a funeral.  Scumbo was smart and lucky enough to have made me “half a best man” to share with his little brother Vinny.  I missed out on that beautiful vacation wedding and my chance to give a great wedding speech.  Instead of giving a wedding speech I replaced that with a funeral speech for my uncle.

I hope that with the amazing bachelor party I made up for not being there on the most important events for my bestfriends life.  I also hope that the way I handled my uncles services I made good for not being by his side as he died.   To the Wedding I never attended, and the game I never watched, I will forever be “Half bestman.”

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Being dumped

23 May

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I’m heart broken…

Nothing quite hurts like someone breaking up with you.  It happened to me.  I was such a fool I didn’t even see it coming.  Not sure if it would make it any easier because this relationship was special to me.  We’ve been together for years so it hurts, it hurts real bad but I choose to share my pain with you… 


My barber informed me he will no longer cut my hair. I’ve never been dumped before. Do I watch ROM COM’s and eat ice cream? I’m already lost without him, I’d hate for another to touch me. It won’t feel right! His hand was gentle, steady and knew his way around my head like no other.

 Right when I was on urge of getting my haircut he called me told me he was moving back home for sometime, he said he could be back in the next six months but he understands if I cant wait for him.  Maybe he was just giving me false hope or he wants to see if I could be loyal while he was gone.  I tried to wait but I knew I had to move on with my life, I was starting to look like a hobo.  

Our relationship wasn’t without complications.  He was always going away back home and at times he’d leave my needs unattended.  I’m going to confess I’ve cheated on him twice during our long relationship.  I know it was wrong of me but i did this was out of necessity of needing a cut for event and not being able to wait    Felt like cheating both times but I had very different results.

The first time was amazing to the point I almost left my barber but I had to stop seeing him because they knew each other.  i knew deep down inside I couldn’t juggle both barbers, they satisfied my needs in different ways but it wasn’t fair to either of them.  Second time around the backup effed up my cut. It was like seeing a mistress, having bad sex and getting an std. I vowed to never let another man cut my hair and now I have no choice.

He’s moving and now I must also move on, It won’t be easy building that sacred bond a man has with his barber. Besides sex a haircut is the most intimate moment I share with another human being (my haircuts last much longer). I guess I have no other choice but to play the field. Wish me luck as I embark on my quest for fresh lines and tight curls.

A month into my journey…

So I’ve found another it was a long interesting journey, one I wish I did not have to make.  I was like Frodo in Lord of the rings except I went alone, no wizards, elves nor trolls.  Just me and my long overdue afro I was growing, looking like the latino teen wolf.  I kind of went back to the old fling.  That’s right the first barber I cheated with while he was on vacation.  I only went to him because I needed to go to a party that weekend and well long story short when a man’s in need he does what he must.  He was barber in the same shop who seemed quite popular with the fellas.  He always had a wait list so I wont lie I was intrigued.  I’m not proud of cheating on my barber with this guy but bigger problem was I liked it.  The cut was on point, my lines were straight fade was even, it was as if he knew me.  

I ended up not going to my barber for about a month so the hair could be grown in enough that he wouldn’t notice another touched me.  I think he could tell but he said nothing, we never talked about being exclusive but we just had that silent agreement.  The other barber and me had a first awkward exchange of hello but we never spoke of that hair cut again, maybe he thought I hated it, but truth is I loved it too much.  Not soon after he left to open up his own barbershop, not sure if I had any influence on his leaving.  I’d drive by the place but never went in because I knew what would happen.  For years we stayed away from eachother.

Until now, I found his barbershop. Its a nice place when I went in they were watching Bad boys 2 one of my favorite movies.  As soon as he saw me he recognized me we shook hands, he told me to wait for him to finish and “you got next”.  It was music to my ears, I watched as he cut while going back and forth between movie on screen.  Once it was my turn it was like that first time all over again it just felt right.

  We had an awesome conversation about baseball and Will Smith, Martin Lawrence we even talked about what we’ve been upto since we last saw each other.  When it was all done he gave me a crisp smooth cut.  I was happy and I rewarded him with a generous tip, guys love my tip.  He gave me his card and told me to call him anytime.  He didn’t want this to be a one time thing either apparently.  His style was suave just like my haircut he pulled me in hook line and sinker.  

I just saw him again and I can truly say I get butterflies in my stomach the way he lays his clipper on my head.  I was so confident in him that I got a short hair cut.  I found me a new man I wanted a new look to accompany this fresh start.  Its a match made in heaven, my ex may or may not come back into my life but I have moved on.  I know when this started I had my doubts but I am proof that when you lose someone special someone better comes along.  Never give up hope my friends there is someone for everyone in this beautiful world.  

Whos worse Superior Parent’s or Kid haters?

17 May

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When it comes to having kids there are two kinds of people that annoy me…
  
1.  The ones that have kids and think they’re superior to those that don’t.
2.  People who dislike kids.

I’ve met many who think having a kid makes your life better and while that might be true for some its not for everyone.  I am a father and having a child changed my life but that doesn’t make me better than people who don’t have kids.  In the latino culture people are always talking about having kids, pushing people to have kids.  I have one child and now I hear “so when you having the next one?”  

 I know plenty of amazing people who have no desire to be parents.  I respect them for thinking it through and realizing its not for them, having a kid isn’t like trying yoga classes.  You cant just have one and say “hey I’m not interested thanks but no thanks lets go ahead and cancel my membership.”  If you want a child by all means have them but for the right reasons. 

I used to work with two guys, one had a kid the other didn’t.  The one that was a father would always tell me he felt bad for the other guy cause he has no kids.  I asked him why’s that? His response was “because kids make your life better, he’s missing out, its our contribution to the world.”  Meanwhile this guy told me all the business about his two kids, one was in jail for robbery and his daughter scammed him out of thousands.  I’m thinking some great contribution you made to society.  

On the other end of the spectrum I don’t like people who say they don’t like kids.  I can understand you not wanting kids but to not like them really?  Kids can be annoying but sheesh not liking any of them seems extreme. It says alot about your character if you truly don’t like kids.  I can’t trust people of this mindset,  I can’t pin point why but I just get a bad feeling about them as a human being.  

Maybe I’m wrong to assume that but I see kids as the most innocent beautiful part of life, its when they grow up I’m not a fan.  So to not like these little humans that are nothing but a product of there upbringing seems wrong.  You’re probably thinking I’m bias because I have a kid but I remember having these sentiments long before becoming a father.

 I went out with a girl once she told me she doesn’t like kids I asked her why?  “Because their too needy, they always cry and want something”.   This rubbed me the wrong way but to make it worst we were eating at a Thai place.  The woman taking our order had an accent and my date made fun of it.  So by the end of the meal bill came (I always pick up bill if I’m on a date) I asked her to go half.  She says “Really you want me to pay? What a gentleman of you” I replied “Don’t be needy”

Just because you shot a good load in someone or pushed one out your vagina does not make you better than those that went childless.   We have too many people having kids that shouldn’t have them, stop it!  The world does not need your shitty legacy to continue.  Earths population is over 7 billion and growing, you don’t have to have a kid to contribute.

Instead try being a positive influence, not passing judgement on people who don’t want a child is a great start.  Whether you want kids or not be a good person.   If you have children treat them nice, raise them well and love them up.  Hopefully they’ll  be a positive member of society.    That’s all the contribution our world needs to make it a better place.