This is no I love Lucy

25 Jul



I had a tough choice to make between two of my crushes Scarlett Johansson and Dwayne the Rock Johnson.  Ultimately I chose to take Lucy to the Prom over Hercules.  Scarlett does not disappoint as the title character but even she couldn’t carry this movie away from Luc Besson’s over the top vision.   His direction and writing was not enough for Scarjo to defeat, hell she could have brought along the Avengers and it would not have helped where this movie failed.

I’m going to keep this as spoiler free as possible and trailer friendly.  Lucy is about the first person who is able to tap into more than 10% of her brain.  This is occurs because of an implant of a new drug that she’s being forced to mule overseas.  The bag leaks and well Lucy gets all supercharged and smart unlocking all cool parts of her brain that allow her to kickass, speak new languages, read minds, time warp and perform all sorts of telekinesis.  This is when Lucy is at her best, bad ass Scarjo kicking ass.

Morgan Freeman does his best impression of Morgan Freeman Through the Wormhole.  He plays a neurologist who Lucy (Now the smartest person in the world) enlist to help her on her quest for I dont know what.  This is the problem you never really find out what it is Lucy is doing.  The bad guys are still after her for the drugs but other than that WTF?

Besson’s attempts at being visually artistic at times help Lucy as we are treated to such beautiful colors and CGI of trees coming to life, radio waves and other nicely produced visuals as Lucy now sees the world differently.   However Besson goes over the top with one too many cutscenes from national geographic special.  He thinks its clever using these scenes as a metaphor but to me it insult the audiences intelligence as he is trying to hard to spell out what we should make of the scene.

Scarlett Johansson is magnificent in this movie but she comes across less bad ass than I expected.  Her Black Widow character is far more memorable and that all falls on Besson.  He did a great job of not over sexualazing the character, but he did not focus on what made the movie strong.  Too much imagery went on here and not enough explaining.  Maybe when you guys see the movie you can tell me what the hell it was about, cause I am still wondering.

I had such high hopes for Lucy but it misses the mark for me.  I can deal with the over the top scifi premise, the cliche characters but if  I wanted to see a tripped out art film I’d go to community college.  This film is what happens when you give someone a 100 million dollar budget for a script he wrote while stoned off his gills, half asleep after watching the syfy and discovery channel all night.

Lucy only unlocks 10% of her potential

I give it a 5.5 out of 10


One Response to “This is no I love Lucy”

  1. Heart_Of_Words September 29, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    Oh thank god. I thought I was the only one who thought exactly this.

    I actually was getting angrier and angrier as the movie progressed. I followed the basic science just fine although really I think it was just thrown in there to make the movie sound smart at times, but honestly, I just got the feeling that I was listening to a 13 year old trying to bullshit his way through an adult conversation he knew nothing about in order to endorse ideas he didn’t even know why he believed in them….UGH!

    That said….ScarJo couldn’t hold this movie together or my attention even if she had been completely naked next to that damn ape. Worst waste of money and time I’ve ever spent in a movie theater in AGES. I didn’t even think they made movies this bad anymore.

    And don’t even get me started on the big FUCK YOU the entire movie was to anyone who God forbid believes in creation instead of evolution.

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