Tag Archives: The Rock

Hercules Spoilerish Review

26 Jul



I went to go see Hercules mainly because so many people mistake me for the Rock, or is it a rock?  If you believe anyone would think I’m DwayneThe RockJohnson than this movies right for you.  I say this because _Brett Ratner_ completely conned me!
Remember those awesome Hercules trailers? The Rock going up against all sorts of Greek mythological beautiful CGI creatures?  Him clubbing a Erymanthian Boar?  Being taken down by the Hydra? A clash with the Nemean Lion? Rock yelling “I am Hercules”?  Well its as much bullshit as me doubling as the Rocks twin.  Lies I say all Lies!

All you see in the trailers is pretty much what you get.  Seriously thats not a lie, I’m not pulling a “Ratner” on you cause thats what I’m calling it from now on.  Basically all the Greek monsters you think the rocks going to fight you can see in a two minute trailer.  Don’t expect much more than that.

They’re all in the first 5 minutes of the film, it basically opens with the trailer.  As we get  a 4 minute montage as Iolaus (Hercules nephew) brags to a band of pirates great tales of how ferocious Hercules is.  As well as proclaiming him  a demigod son of Zeus.

 You see this is a different Hercules one that is just a mere mortal who happens to be strong and big.  His 12 trials are greatly exaggerated, retold with many irregularities by Iolaus.  Hercules does not work alone he has a crew of loyal friends fellow mercenaries.  Together they have created the legend that is Hercules.

I actually enjoyed this lie, his whole legend is based on a lie.  Kudos to that lying bastard Brett Ratner, his fib pays off.  How many times can you do the story of Hercules? I am glad he took a different approach than anything I’ve seen.  Although Kevin Sorbo is still my favorite Hercules, the Rock does a great job of carrying this movie.  He’s as charismatic and big as ever, seriously the due is a big hulking hass of muscle.   Ian McShane provides the rest of the films charm and humor.  The rest of Hercules’ crew is just there to keep the movie going along.
Plenty of action scenes although as I mentioned all the CGI beast can be seen in the trailer.  The rest is just mortal men going at it with swords, arrows and shields.  Nothing we haven’t seen before but still entertaining.  I mean come on The Rocks big and sweaty and swinging a big stick around for your viewing pleasure.  The fights were nicely choreographed as we see  Hercules and company train a rag tag group of farmers into a elite army.
The film has a twist along the way, not just the first one of Hercules being well not so Hercules.  Otherwise the rest is pretty much straight forward and predictable.   Besides being disappointed by the misleading trailers I still was able to enjoy this film.
I give Hercules a 7.0 out of 10